KIRU PSYCHOTHERAPY CLINIC
Couples Therapy
The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. Let's work on the one you're in.
Therapy for partners who've stopped talking, started fighting, or landed somewhere in between. We create a structured plan, so you stop managing each other and start reconnecting. In person in Newmarket, ON, and online across Ontario.
Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic
"We're basically roommates."
You share a bed, a mortgage, and a group chat about the kids’ schedules, but you can’t remember the last time you both had a real conversation. Small disagreements feel bigger than they should; you rehearse the conversation, then say none of it. You’re on the couch together every night, and you’ve never felt more alone.
We know:
You’re stuck in a pattern, and it’s louder than either of you.
But the two of you are the ones who can change it.
Couples therapy helps you see the pattern, name what’s underneath it, and build something you’d choose again.
Let's get you back on the same side.
Message us to get started.
Couples Therapy | Newmarket & Virtual Across Ontario
How Couples Therapy Can Help
You don’t need more communication tips. You’ve read those. You need to feel safe enough with each other to say the true thing without it turning into a three-day cold war.
At Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic, we use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most researched approaches to couples therapy. EFT helps you understand what’s driving the conflict, share what you need with clarity, and build new patterns of trust, so you’re reconnecting instead of just managing each other.
Here’s what a lot of couples therapy misses: Sometimes what looks like a relationship problem is one or both of you carrying something on your own: anxiety, stress, or a low mood that’s spilling into how the two of you connect. So before we jump into couples work, we take the time to understand each partner, rather than just the relationship. If one of you would benefit from individual support alongside couples sessions, or if the whole household needs a different kind of attention, we bring that in.
Confidence is a skill. So is communicating and connecting to the person you live with. Let us help you build both.
Thoughts your or your partner might be having:
“It shouldn’t be this hard to just talk to each other.”
“I don’t even know when we stopped trying.”
“We used to be a team. Now it feels like we’re on opposite sides.”
“It shouldn’t feel this lonely when we’re in the same room.”
“I love my partner. I just don’t know how to reach them anymore.”
We hear both of you. Let’s find your way back to each other.
Meet Our Team
Match With a Couples Therapist in Newmarket, ON
Each and every registered psychotherapist on our team trains on our model in-house before they see a client, so everyone shares a common vision. Same plan, same structure, same directness. Choose the therapist who suits you both best.
Couples Therapy | Newmarket & Virtual Across Ontario
What Couples Therapy Helps With
Communication Breakdown
Conversations that go sideways in seconds, or don’t happen at all. We help you say what you mean and hear what they meant.
Constant Conflict
The same argument, on repeat, with different props. We help you find the pattern underneath so you can stop having the same fight.
Emotional Distance
Living like roommates, sharing a calendar and a Netflix password and not much else. We help you close the gap you can’t remember opening.
Loss of Intimacy
Affection that feels forced, awkward, or gone. We help you rebuild closeness in a way that doesn’t feel like a chore on a list.
Infidelity & Betrayal Recovery
Something happened, and you can’t just move past it. We help you understand how you got here and decide, together, what comes next.
Trust Issues & Insecurity
Checking, wondering, and never quite settling. We help you rebuild trust in your partner’s intentions, and in your own read on things.
Parenting Disagreements
Two different rulebooks and a kid who’s figured out how to play them. We help you get on the same page, and our parent coaching work is here if you need it.
Blended Family Issues
Step-parents, exes, and loyalties pulling in every direction. We help you build one household out of two histories.
Considering Separation
On the edge of giving up, and not sure if you should. We help you get clear, together, on what’s right for both of you.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Our core approach with couples. EFT is backed by decades of research, and it works on the thing underneath the argument: the fear of not mattering to the person who matters most. Once that’s on the table, the fights get smaller, and the connection gets bigger.
Each of You, Not Just the Two of You
We meet with each partner individually early on. Sometimes the “relationship problem” is one person carrying anxiety, stress, or a low mood into the room. If individual support would help, we bring it in, and it stays connected to the couple’s work.
A Plan for Repair
We look at what actually broke, and we build a plan to fix it. Nobody gets a turn to list grievances while the other one sits there. We’re here to fix the thing, not referee it.
Family Systems & Attachment
When kids are in the picture, the relationship between you shapes everything they see. We draw on family systems and attachment theory, and we fold in parent coaching when it strengthens the work.
Tears and outbursts from nowhere. We help kids regulate, and help you respond without adding fuel.
Tools You'll Use Before Friday
De-escalate tension in the moment. Say the hard thing without blame. Rebuild the closeness you’ve been missing. Every session ends with something you can take home, and you’ll feel it at the dinner table.
Therapy for Couples in Newmarket & Virtually Across Ontario
How We Work With Couples
We’re direct and structured, and we’re on the side of the relationship. We tailor every plan to your child’s age, temperament, and what’s already been tried.
Your relationship is the foundation everything else sits on.
When it shifts, everything around it moves too.
Our Approach
How Our Couples Therapy Works
Step 1: Identify Together
We start by seeing you as a couple, so we understand the relationship as a whole before anything else. What's the pattern, how did it start, and what do you each want instead?
Step 2: Meet Apart
We meet with each of you individually, so we understand what you're carrying on your own, not just what's happening between you. This is where a lot of stuck cases get unstuck.
Step 3: Move Forward
We continue with joint sessions using EFT to help you reconnect, and we personalize the plan as we go. If individual therapy or parent coaching would strengthen the work, we build it in, so everything points at the same goal.
The Cognitive Freedom Program
Program For Adults With Anxiety
“This is evidence-based, start to finish. If you want internal change, rather than just insight, you’ve come to the right place.”
People-pleasing. Over-Working. Avoidance. Procrastination. Emotional reactivity. Four ways we make life harder while trying to make it easier.
If this sounds like you:
The Cognitive Freedom Program is a 12-week adult therapy program, designed to change the cognitive and emotional patterns that drive those reactions in the first place.
Each week you watch one short lesson, then meet one-on-one with your therapist to put it to work on whatever is happening in your life right now. Once a month, you join a live group call with Dr. Shyamala Kiru, creator of the program.
Couples Therapy | Newmarket & Virtual Across Ontario
Couples Therapy FAQs
What if my partner doesn't want to come?
This is very common, but we want you to know that it doesn’t stop the work. It only takes one person to create real, significant change in a relationship, and the research backs that up. When you start doing this work on your own, the pattern between you shifts, and it’s not unusual for a partner to join once they see something’s different. We won’t push them before they’re ready, and we won’t tell you to sit around and wait. Plenty of our couples counselling clients in Newmarket and across Ontario begin solo.
Do we attend sessions together?
Mostly, yes. We start together, then meet with each of you individually, then continue as a couple for the rest of the work. If something comes up in your individual session that your partner needs to hear, your couples therapist will help you bring it into the room, and we’ll always be clear with both of you about how that works.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy, and why do you use it?
EFT is a structured approach built on decades of research into what actually holds couples together. The short version: most couple fights aren’t about the dishes. They’re about “Do I matter to you, and can I count on you?” EFT gets to that question and helps you answer it for each other, so you stop fighting the same fight with different words.
What if one of us is dealing with anxiety, stress, or depression on top of everything?
Then we’d want to know early, and that’s why we meet with each of you individually. What looks like a relationship problem is sometimes one person carrying something into the room. We can add individual support alongside your couples sessions, with the same team, so it all stays connected.
How long does couples therapy usually take?
Every couple is different, but the research on EFT lines up with what we see in our own work. Many couples begin to notice change within the first ten sessions:
- How you talk to each other
- How conflict feels
- How close you feel day to day
By around twenty sessions, most couples report a deeper, more secure bond, the kind that doesn’t vanish the moment things get hard. You don’t have to wait years to feel the difference. Book a free consult to learn more about how we work.
Can we do this online, or does it have to be in person?
Both work, and the choice is yours. Our whole team is trained to deliver couples therapy online, and for a lot of couples, virtual is easier. It fits around real schedules, and you don’t need to be in the same room. You and your partner can log in securely from two different locations, on a work trip or after bedtime, and get the same care. In person at our Newmarket clinic is here when you’d rather have a room and a door.
What if we're not sure we even want to stay together?
That’s a brave reason to come in. Couples therapy is also a place to get clarity on whether staying together is the right path for both of you. If you’re already separating, we work with couples there too, helping you through it in the healthiest way possible, particularly when kids are involved. A lot of that work is building a co-parenting plan that protects your children and lets both of you move forward with less conflict.
Will you take sides?
No. We take a direct, structured approach to couples therapy. Our focus stays on assessing the rupture in your relationship and building a real plan for repair, and it isn’t a space for each partner to vent grievances about the other. We’re not here to judge or pick a winner. We’re here to help both of you get to the root of what’s happening and move forward together.
We have kids. Does that change the work?
It usually makes it more important. The relationship between you sets the emotional tone at home, and your kids read it long before they can name it. When parenting disagreements are part of the conflict, we fold in Parent Support & Coaching so the plan covers the whole household. Our founder, Dr. Shyamala Kiru, holds a doctorate in couple and family therapy, and it is part of how this clinic was built.
Is it too late for us?
Not if you’re reading this. Couples come to us after years of distance, after an affair, after the conversation about splitting up has already happened. Some of them rebuild something better than they had. Some of them get clear that ending well is the right call. Both count as a good outcome. Book a free consult, and we’ll tell you what we see.
Have more questions? Ask us, even the awkward ones!
Couples Counselling | Newmarket & Virtual Across Ontario
What Changes After Couples Therapy
Over time, the couples we work with often tell us they:
- Can disagree without it turning into a three-day cold war.
- Are having the conversations they used to avoid, and nobody blows up.
- Feel chosen again, and not just tolerated.
- Can be affectionate without it feeling forced or awkward.
- Feel like a team again, even when life gets stressful.
- Sleep in the same bed, and it feels like connection, not just proximity.
Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic
How To Get Started
Managing this alone is a full-time job. Let’s get you some support.
As Seen On
FREE GUIDE FOR PARENTS
You've tried everything, and your child is still anxious.
When your child is struggling with anxiety, it can be hard to know when to step in, when to step back, and what will actually help. This FREE GUIDE will help you better understand what’s driving their anxiety from as young as 6 up to 18, and what you can do to start building their confidence.
Visit Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic for Couples Therapy in Newmarket, ON